The High Road
by minerva.quillqueen
Summary: A Loki POV story surrounding the events of Thor, The Avengers, and Thor: The Dark World. AU, OOC, Based on the song The High Road by Three Days Grace


_I told you I was hurt_

_Bleeding on the inside_

"Thor please, listen to me," I begged as my brother walked to the feast.

I was more than a little shocked when Thor actually stopped. Yes he is my brother but lately he has been so caught up with becoming king that he never seemed to have time for me any more.

"What is it Loki," he said with a tired drawl.

Feeling bad for taking up his time I tried to say it was nothing, "Never mind, go to the feast, Mother and Father are expecting you."

"Loki, you never beg for anything. Tell me what is wrong, I am not leaving until you do," he said as he flopped on my couch.

"Things don't feel right lately, Father is avoiding me. I feel like a bother whenever I am around him. I know that you have been leading the battles but I just feel like I don't belong."

_I told you I was lost_

_In the middle of my life_

We chatted for a bit and I was feeling better as we headed to the feast together. I knew that Thor loved me, he always had, he was my brother before anything else.

Then the feast was interrupted, the Chitauri were heading to Midgard for unknown reasons. The warriors were off, Thor leading his band of merry men and Sif. They raced down the Bi-frost and Heimdall sent them on their way.

Once again I was left behind, unworthy of the battle field, not a helpmate but a hazard should I have gone. What is an Asgardian if not a warrior? Yes I have the power of magic but it is not a valued battle weapon. Mother is the only one who understands me but even she is overlooked because she is the All-Fathers wife. Serving Father is her place of honor. I do nothing but embarrass him to the point that he avoids me.

The god of mischief, that is what they call me. No one realizes that the things I do are done to get attention. Getting punished and knowing that I am still seen is better than going around feeling like nothing.

_There's times I stayed alive for you_

I remember growing up, Thor and I were the best of friends. Before the Warriors Three, before Lady Sif, before he was the guardian of Midgard. We were told the same stories, we dreamed the same dreams. He was my brother, my idol, the person who I most wanted to approve of me.

I always felt a bit different, Thor is blonde like Mother. Father too was blonde, How did I end up with black hair? I never questioned when I was younger because I had Thor and Mother's love.

_There's times I would have died for you_

_There's times it didn't matter at all_

The battle with the Chitauri was harder than anticipated. Fandral, Hogun, and Volstagg were all seriously injured. Sif was badly burnt. The worse though was Thor. His arm was nearly cut off, barely breathing, and not saying anything. That was the most worrying to me, the oaf wasn't talking. Thor, the god of never shutting up, not talking. I was so worried. My brother, my friend, my idol, dying before my eyes.

I knew the solution but I also knew that Mother would never allow it. I waited until that night. Mother was getting ready to leave when I walked into Thor's room.

"Loki, he needs his rest."

"I know mother, I just wanted to spend a few minutes with him before going to sleep," I told her , making the best use of my fabled silver tongue as I could.

"Alright dear, just don't stay long. Fretting over him will not do any good in the long run."

Mother walked out leaving the door open, an unspoken challenge of how long I was staying. What Mother had failed to realize is that I had surpassed even her own magical abilities. I reached out with my senses, and when I felt that she was no longer near I silently closed the door and locked it.

"Thor, I know you can't hear me, you are barely hanging onto the edges of life as it is. No matter what, I know that you mean more than I do. Not just to Father, but to the whole of Asgard. I am happy to play my part in your life. Remember me dear brother when you rule."

I reached out with all of my powers. Healing Thor was the best use of my life I could think of. My brother, whom I have loved for so long, had to live.

Thor lived, I knew he would. What I didn't know was that he would wake quickly enough to save me too. Magical exhaustion should have killed me. I didn't care if I did die. I wasn't the important one.

_Will you help me find the right way up_

_Or let me take the wrong way down_

_Will you straighten me out or make me take the long way around_

_I took the low road in_

_I'll take the high road out_

_I'll do whatever it takes to be the mistake that you can't live without_

Things got odd between Thor and I after that. I guess he felt like he owed me, but he didn't. I didn't expect to live. I didn't even want to live. I wanted Thor to live. That was all that had mattered

Even worse than Thor and I was Father and I. Not only was he outright avoiding me now, but when he did see me he looked at me as though I was a monster. I never understood that. I saved his oldest son, his heir, and I was the monster?

Then things got bad, I let some Jotun in as a gift to Thor. I knew that Thor had always wished to prove his might against the evil that Father had told us about all through childhood. 2 Jotun for him to battle to prove he was as mighty as Father.

What I hadn't expected was for Father to get irate and cancel Thor's coronation. Because of that Thor decided to storm into Jotunheim. I assume you know this bit, it was made into a movie on Midgard. A bit ugly towards me but Thor is the hero. I never wanted to take the throne from Thor. They did get that part kind of right. I only wanted to be treated as his equal. Not the monster that Father had decided I was.

Yes the Bi-frost iced over and Thor broke the bridge. No it wasn't because I was trying to destroy Jotunheim, it was because I was trying to retrieve Thor, Hogun, Volstagg, Fandral, and Sif. The Destroyer had gotten out and I wanted my brother safe in Asgard. I knew he wouldn't stay if his friends weren't here. The issue was that I lost control. I was frantic and that is not the state to be in when operating something like the Bi-frost.

Thor was back and things were getting better, then Father rode in. Quite literally on his high horse. He rushed past and clipped me. I flew off to the side and began falling. I grabbed the edge of the bridge and Thor was coming to help me. Father was irate. I don't know but looking at him I knew I couldn't stay. I slowly let go of Thor. I made sure to watch him as I fell because I never thought I would live, let alone see him again. I saw the pain in his eyes, heard him shout, but I knew this was for the best. Thor could take his place, Father would embrace it, and I would not be around to cause any issues.

_Standing in the dark  
I can see your shadow  
You're the only light  
That's breaking through the window  
There's times I stayed alive for you  
There's times I would have died for you  
There's times it didn't matter at all _

I am really bad at dying. That was my first thought when I woke up. My second thought was were in the hell was I. Turns out that I still don't know where I ended up. There were a few others there. I think it was a ship but I can't swear by it. I spent a month in the medical ward. When I was released I was taken to a man.

A powerful cunning man, he literally brainwashed me. I remembered Asgard, my brother, my Mother, and loathing my Father. I didn't remember the love, or the confusion, or the hurt of leaving. I became a pawn.

I went to Midgard, and well, they made a movie out of this too. To my knowledge it is much more accurate than the first movie. I don't remember everything, but I do remember Thor arriving and my fear of seeing him. My false hatred. Then I saw him. My brother, the man I had tried to die for twice. I knew the hatred was wrong but I didn't know what was real.

So, my brainwashed self caused the Avengers to assemble. I still laugh about an Asgardian being one of 'Earths mightiest heroes.' I was called a puny god, I got my ass handed to me. More than that, I finally woke up. I went back to Asgard, as a prisoner, but I was home.

_Will you help find the right way up  
Or let me take the wrong way down  
Will you straighten me out or make me take the long way around  
I took the low road in  
I'll take the high road out  
I'll do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can't live without_

Well I'm not gonna give it away  
Not gonna let it go just to wake up someday  
Gooooone, goooone  
The worst part is looking back and knowing that  
I was wrong

In my cell I started piecing things together. I remembered dropping from the bridge. Then I remembered the man. He was a Chitauri ruler. Making plans for... That bit took me a while. I couldn't remember who he was planning with. Then the prison was broken into. Into, not out of. Dark Elves. Thanos. Thanos is the one who was behind my brainwashing.

I hadn't seen Thor, in person, since he had walked me to my cell. Odin had forbade it. Mother would visit me. If she couldn't make it to my cell she would send her mind for a visit. Thor wasn't skilled in magic like mother and myself, so I had to send my mind to visit him. Every week at the turn of Thorsday. Ironic-ish. It was easy to remember and it humored Thor that a day was named after him. He decided that since it was his day he should do what he wanted on it.

Then he showed up. I knew it wasn't for a visit. He told me that the Dark Elves were after his Midgardian lady friend. He needed my help to beat the Dark Elves, to beat Thanos. Of course I agreed.

Yes, there is a third movie that tells most of this. This one is again, a touch biased against me. I was willing to die for Thor again. I will always be willing to die for Thor. He thought I did die. I thought I was going to and I told him to leave me. That I didn't care what father thought about me, and to save his lady friend. I failed to die yet again. 3 times I have tried to die and three times I have failed.

I went back home. The first person that I ran into was Odin. He thought I was dead, Thor had told him I was. Odin literally keeled over and died right there. Mother had died in the prison raid. No one was around. I took a course of action. I gave Odin a funeral, he might have despised me but Thor and Mother loved him, and to be honest I did too, but his hatred for me hurt. Then I took his form. Magic can be a wonderful thing. I knew Thor still needed Odin. I also knew he thought me dead and I couldn't bear being away from my only remaining family.

Thor came back after Thanos and the Dark Elves were defeated. When he saw me, as Odin, on the throne he told me. I never expected him to say this.

"I do not belong on the throne father. I am a warrior. I don't have the head for making decisions for the entirety of our people. It is a shame that Loki died. He would have made the best choices. He was a thinker, I am an actor."

"Thor," I said, "are you sure? I feel like you may be giving everything up for the Midgardian. She is pretty, that is true, but she is human. Human lives are fleeting. 1 year, 100 years, it is just a moment."

"I am sure Father. Her life may be fleeting, but it exists now, and I love her now. When she dies I still won't want to take the throne. It isn't where I belong. I belong on the battlefield. I belong leading my men into action. I will help you find a new heir but you have to stick around to train them. I can't and wont step up as king."

_Help me find the right way up  
Or let me take the wrong way down  
Will you straighten me out  
Or make me take the long way around  
I took the low road in  
I'll take the high road out  
I'll do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can't live without _

_Help me find the right way up  
Or let me take the wrong way down  
Will you straighten me out  
Or make me take the long way around  
I took the low road in  
I'll take the high road out  
I'll do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can't live without _

I can't be the mistake he can't live without. He never saw me as a mistake. Even when I was brainwashed he still called me brother. The worse he ever said against me was after I killed a good many humans. He said, "He's my brother... well, he was adopted."

I was adopted, but I was still his brother. He said I would have made a great king. Now I have the chance to prove him right. I only hope that I am half as good as he thinks that I would be.


End file.
